The "Voluntary" Mother's Day post...lol

Ok, I just HAD to post this card. You all know we are dachshund nuts. My dh found this and clamied that our crazy-googly-eyed dachshund Ralphie bought it. This is JUST what I see when I wake up from a nap with Ralphie!

Inside the signatures- hope you can read them- click on picture to enlarge.


I also got some sweet gifts- a pumpkin candle, green tea, a new oven mitt. Very nice day. Oh, and a lamb dinner, courtesy my chef-husband!

Our old friend 'Balance', and that uninvited visitor, 'Change'

As I contemplated this post, I first was feeling so happy in that I have missed posting to the blog. It is fun to do so again and also read yall's blogs more again.

And the second thing I realized was that it seems balance is such a recurring theme. Balancing babies, balancing kids/house/husband/homeschool/friends, etc. Now I have friends who are balancing life and grandkids.

This post is about balance, too. Well, and change. I have spent the past 6 weeks or so in major reserach mode as my dh and I decided it was time for me to look for work. This came about round about, and now I am very excited about it.

But it was funny, how at first blush it seemed... well... difficult.

I think a big part was me. I was so entrenched in the lifestyle I came to embrace it was hard to think of a major change. It was hard for me to go from career to kids 17 years ago, then to full time at-home mom.. then to homeschooler. Those were all hard, but they were all blessings. I am so thankful I found that way.

But, my sons are 14 and 17. They are more independent and I am realizing (at least partialy) many of the goals and dreams I had about homeschooling at the outset. They are morally well-grounded.
(I can trust them if I am busy and doing my own stuff.)

They are self-motivated learners. (I can mentor, but trust them to learn and grow on their own).

I kept thinking, I can't work-- be pulled away.. they need me! But do they? And how much?

They love their independence and I think they need it.

So, I found a homebased endevor that hopefully will generate the income goals dh and I talked about.
I really wanted homebase- as I still want to be the 'heart of the home' and feel that is important to me and the guys.

BUT---- and this is a big but---
I can't do it all.
And I really mean it. I gave up being a martyr (well, mostly, except when it can help me win an arguement) years ago!

I told my family that I if I am going to dedicate 15-20 hours a week to working, I need my schedule clear. No interruptions and you all have to pick up a lot. Not just 'help' with things, but 'take over' things. Here is the short list of what I have offloaded:
-picking up after others
-cleaning up the kitchen
-boys' laundry
-yard work (except I like to mow- it burns calories and is therapeutic!)
-cooking (dh is taking over most of that and boys can handle their own food

(Looking at this list, I realize it needs to get longer.... lol!)

Also I have housekeeper that can come in 2X a month to scrub the bathrooms and kitchen.
I still do all the bill paying, investments, insurance, errands, organization of the house, homeschool planning, college search, mentoring of boys, ill parents etc. I can't see the being off-loaded so my plate is full.


I also am re-looking my things. What I can keep. On my list to keep is:
Lighthouse Catholic Media (it is an awesome ministry and provides a small trickle of income, very little though)
Pet Sitting Business (our customers are now co-dependent on us! lol- but we are thinking the boys can eventually take that over fulltime)
Hosptial volunteer (2 horus a week- the training is over which frees up time)
Online friends and blogging (I MISSED blogging.. you all are very special and hold a place in my heart)
Workouts (I am NOT giving that up- or the place would really fall apart!.. but will have to move it to early morning)
Friends (I plan to keep my coffee and lunches out with friends!)

I have been reading background material and have a lot to cover before my traniner comes in at the end of the month. I am really enjoying it though, and though it is a bit scary (it is a franchise type investment), I feel it suits me.

My background is business, and this draws heavily on that, but also on relationships and helping people.

So... a new chapter of life.


God always provides. Just as I was feeling sad my boys are older and really have been through some grieveing, and then drop-in friend "Change" shows up like a nosy neighbor...thank goodness "Balance" is still my old trusted side-kick.

It also told me that again, if I trust in God, all good things will come. He won't let me down. It is easy to be afraid of life, and what changes will happen and what we might 'lose' that we cherish now. But don't fear! Have hope! God provided good things to everyone who trusts in him. It is really true.

I would love your prayers as we negotiate these new changes.. and you know I pray for you all.

The Current View from My Desk

Click on picture for 'full effect' lol!

Boomer.

Blog help

Ok, I have not done HTML in ages.. can someone tell me how to make my header picture (kissing puppies) bigger.. and how to move the text over or down so it is not on top of the picture?

Many thanks!

Funny, kid, funny...

My witty, sometimes droll 17yo son walked in a bit ago and said:

"Mom, I am not sure about the color of those pants. Can we return them?"

I about socked him.

Why, you ask?

In a nutshell..

-Confirmation is 2 weeks away.

-Boys must wear Sunday Best. (Cardinal DiNardo sez so!)

-We attend life teen. Their 'best' is jeans and sneakers.

-Shopping is a bear. They are so slim-waisted and tall, that is one reason I gave up on suppling anything other than jeans and sneakers. I have to mail order the jeans to get their size.

-Today was shopping day. Kohl's had two-for-one sale on men's dress wear.

-We spent 1.5 hours digging through unorganized men's wear, all sizes and styles mixed up, searching for the elusive 30 inch waist slacks, that hopefully were more than 30 inches long.

-FINALLY we found them, not quite long enough, but they will do.

[Note: The boys did a great job and we had some laughs.. especially in picking ties... pink, green, polka dots, oh my!]

-On to shirts, ties, belts, socks and dress shoes.

Whew.

-Checkout. Bored clerk. I asked if I got the two for one on all the items. Yes, she said. May I use my 20% off coupon? No, she said. That starts tomorrow. oh.

-Can I put these on hold and come back tomorrow? Will the 2-fer sale still be on? Yes, she said. What time do you open? 9am she said.

-She dumped (and I mean DUMPED) our carefully chosen items in a bag, put my name on them and stuck them under the counter at her feet.

-I was very, very uncomfortable. Are you sure those will make it to customer service? Yeah, she said.

- I drove home . (25 min). I started geting more uncomfortable. When I got home I checked their website. It said store opened at 9, not 8. And the two-fer sale ended today.

-I called the store. Yup. Sale ends today. I have to DRIVE BACK IN RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC to the store to buy them today to get the big saving. ARGH!

- I was mad. I don't usually get mad. I usually stop and get perspecitve. I left and even kinda slammed the door. My dh was heading off on a business trip, and I told I had to leave- Bye. Nice, eh?

-Driving there, I figured I better calm down. It is really sad to see irate customers, taking out their anger on a clerk.

-But then, I realized.. NO. The manager needs to know! I let my anger build again...

-I walked in, found my clerk who still my $300 bag of bunched up clothes and shoes under her feet at her register. I asked her for it and went to customer service.

-I found the manager and said. I am sorry, but you now have an irate customer. Here is my story. She braced herself.

-I told her everything- from the disorganized inventory which took us an hour to dig through with NO assistance offered from staff... to the careless clerk. She was great. What can I do? She asked.

-I would like to buy this and get the twofer sale, and also my 20% off coupon.

-Ok. she said. I give her credit.

-As she rung it up, she said.. oh... the pants are not two for one. One was on clearance, so doesn't count. Would you like to get another?

-I started laughing, bitterly. We had made sure to find the same brand of pants so we would get the deal. Well, I said, my sons are home now, and there is no way I can look through all that inventory again anyway. So, she gave them to me for free. With the flick of her finger on the computer screen, $50 dissapeared...

-I ended up $100 ahead in the end. For 'channeling my anger' as I told my boys.

-Thinking on the way home.. yes, I was tired. Yes I was angry. But anger is NOT a sin. What you do with it can be the sin. I knew I was right, and I know enough about business to know that feedback from customers is crucial. I think my controlled anger emphasied my story. I could tell that for sure, as the other staff would not wait on me but waited for the manager, and they all watched from the wings to see what I was going to say!

I finally got back home, sat down, put my feet up and my son made his request. I could've killed him. :-)

Ok, what do ya'll think about THIS article?

Check out this site AFTER you read the article... :)Misses Smartypants


Men and women disagree on staying sexy
By WHITNEY CASEY

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a picture of a supermodel next to a thousand words is apparently worth a lot more when it comes to reader's e-mails.

Words like "sexist," "ridiculous" and "right-on!"
It seems my recent advice from supermodels Heidi Klum and Karolina Kurkova on how to keep a man's attention is getting a lot of attention.

Is that my leg or hers?
Jude, 34, from Houston writes, "It is about time women hear from other women that keeping vigilant of their sex appeal counts with men even when you've been with someone for a long time." Jude goes on to explain how his girlfriend of four years who was once fastidious about her personal grooming is now a little sporadic about shaving her legs. "I am in love with her and would take her hairy or shaven. But I find it hard to feel romantic when I reach down to touch her legs and can't figure out if its mine or hers!" Yikes.


A wooly mammoth and a mother of three
While unconditional love of wooly mammoth-legged girlfriends is Jude's concern, an even hairier situation was growing for 46-year-old Marcello from Pearland. After being married 21 years, Marcello says, "It all started with her hair.


"When our first child was born, she cut nearly 7 inches of long, sexy hair to a short cut because it was easier. Three kids later, it's still short." Along with short hair came very little makeup and a lot of baby weight gain that never seemed to leave. "This isn't the woman I married. She isn't sick, she isn't working, the kids are in school, why doesn't she take care of herself like she used to?"


Empty-headed supermodels?
While men mostly complained of complacency, the women who wrote in were incensed, outraged and insulted by the models' advice.

One of the most thoughtful female missives came from Susan:
"That was the most sexist, demeaning, and narrow-minded article you have written. As intelligent as you may be, to insinuate that women need to be sexy all the time in order to keep their partner happy is outrageous! No mention of being educated, a good conversationalist, successful, kind, generous with your time and talent. ... No wonder models are thought to be empty-headed sex symbols who are only out for what they can get from others. Do you actually agree with what you wrote?


"I am no big feminist. I have been happily married for 21 years to a very kind and successful man; I teach at a Catholic school where I am adored by 18 children daily; I have two very kind, intelligent and responsible teenagers; and have never once felt compelled to 'stay in a sexy attitude for my man as much as I can.' That is not to say that I am a slovenly barbarian, but I don't believe the presence or lack of daily sex appeal is the route to a happy home, successful marriage, fruitful career, and respect from my peers."

As I write this column with my University of Virginia degree, an Emmy for journalism and a sparkling personality, wearing sweats, no makeup and unwashed hair in a ponytail, I am in extreme appreciation of e-mails like Susan's. I've always thought a woman should be measured by what she brings to the table, not how she looks at the table. But then again, I am still single. Hmm.

Sex appeal from the expert
"It's a cop-out for women to assert that he should love me for who I am, not how I look," says marriage and family therapist Jenifer Beckman with the Center for Counseling.

"He fell in love with you for many reasons, not the least one of which is, how you look. Face it, women, men are visual. Deal with it. An attractive partner/spouse is one of man's most basic emotional needs. Just because it isn't one of yours doesn't make it insignificant."

When a man is attracted to a woman, one of the first things he notices is how she looks, Beckman says. He then gets to know her and falls in love with other aspects.

"You fell in love with him for certain reasons, including the fact that he is meeting some of your emotional needs. What if he stopped meeting those needs ... because she should love me for who I am?" Beckman says.

Mirror, mirror on the wall and other pointed questions
"Is it fair that once you've landed a man you stop doing the things that got him attracted to you in the first place?" Beckman asks. She concedes that men often have unrealistic expectations for women based on what they see coming from advertisers and the silver screen, but she underscores that it doesn't have to be that severe of a transformation — just back to the basics. He isn't asking you to look like a supermodel or to remain eternally young. Merely to continue to take care of yourself the way you did when you were trying to catch him.

So, while sitting here with my unwashed ponytail hair, no makeup, flip-flops, sweats, sparkling personality and college degree, I realize if I meet a guy at this coffee shop today, I'm set for life!


E-mail Whitney Casey at http://www.whitneycasey.com/.

The Obligatory Mother's Day Post

Mom: Good Morning Sweetie! (it was 12:15pm) Are you hungry?

Son: Um, yeah. (looking faintly surprised as he has almost totally been on his own with food the last 3 weeks as mom has been busy with projects and job research)

Mom: Ok, good! How about French Toast?

Son: Um. Yeah. (looking brightened a bit)

Mom: Would you like bacon with that?

Son: Um. If we have any. (Smiling a bit, and looking sheepish)

Mom: Sure! I will make you 3 pieces. French Toast is always better with bacon.


I scurry around, he goes upstairs happy.

Mom: Son! Can you wait to eat about 20 minutes? The milk has soured and I need to run to the store.

Son: (callin from upstairs) Um. Yeah, sure.

I run to the store, come home and start cooking. Son enters the kitchen.

Son: Um, Mom?

Mom: (smiling and stirring milk and eggs) Yes?

Son: Um, I feel bad. It is Mother's Day and all and you are cooking for me. And you had to go to the store and everytthing.

Mom: I know. I am a weird mom.

Son: (smiles a bit) Um. so?

Mom: I know I am a weird mom. But on Mother's Day I always feel like I want to DO things for my family. Like I realize how much I love them. It is the opposite. I don't want them to wait on me.

Son: Cool! I like that.



So did I. And boy, do I love my sons. :)

Big Red Dachshunds

What a great
site! Enjoy! Be sure and check out the quotations...

Our dachshunds look a lot like these. Wonderful, family dogs. :)

The Internet is so fun! I found this just crusing around tonight...:)

My kind of math...lol

click on comic for larger view

Hospital Stories

Last Tuesday night myself and a group of about 20 were commissioned in our local parish as Pastoral Care Ministers. We completed 32 hours of classroom training and various amounts of clinical training in the hospital. This is my 5th week at the hospital.

I felt a bit like we were ragtag soldiers who had just completed Basic Training. We were quite a diverse, untrained group coming in, most of us wondering how we would ever have enough courage to make visits. But the training by our priest and two deacons, all of hom do pastoral and hospice visits full time, was awesome.

This was way, way out of my box and comfort zone, so I am convinced the Holy Spirit opened all the doors for me.

I thought I might share a story here or there. I will never mention names, dates or locations, but try and just share some of the humanity out there, and how the Holy Spirit is working.

Today, I entered a room which held an elderly man. I thought he was asleep, as he was turned on his side, face away from the door.

Knocking lightly, I called out, Mr. ____ are you awake? He turned slightly and mouthed something I could not understand.

I came closer and realized he was saying that he was in great pain.

I didn't know what to do. It is so hard seeing someone in pain, and I just stood there. Shall I get the nurse? Yes, he nodded.

She came in and discussed it with him, telling him he just had pain medication 30 minutes ago. I left while they worked it out. She told him she would try a different kind and went to get it.

I re-entered the room, not sure what to do. He lay with his eyes closed and I was turning to leave when I saw on his tray rosary beads and a guide book. Probably left there by the Eucharistic Minister, I thought. I checked my printout, yes he was Catholic.

The Holy Spirit must have put the next thought in my head.

I walked to his bed and asked if he would like to pray the Rosary. He looked up and mumbled that he would.

I love the Rosary, but am not in the habit of saying it. Thank goodness the guide book was there. I didn't know what day was which mysteries, so I just chose a set- the Luminous.

I prayed and he lay with his eyes closed. The nurse returned after two mysteries with his new medication.

I left as she helped him swallow the pills.

When she finished I asked if he would like to finish the Rosary.

Yes, he nodded briskly.

We did and I saw that I left out prayers and messed up the order, but as he listened his breathing became regular. He seemed more relaxed, maybe due to the medication, but I think also the wonders of prayer and loveliness of the words of the Rosary.